Mother’s Day round-table discussion with Sheridan residents Ruth, Doreen and Jan

Ruth Golding, Doreen Buckley and Jan Cowley each moved in between six and 12 months ago and became fast friends.

Doreen, sitting in the middle in a baby pink shirt covered by a cream cardigan, led the conversation for the day.

“I think Mother’s Day is the most important day of the year,” Doreen said.

“And Father’s Day of course, but it’s not as celebrated, I think.”

Doreen, born in 1939 and raised in Goulburn, was the youngest of three sisters, and had two younger brothers — a true middle child, which she recalled had its tough moments.

“I didn’t have a hard life, or a lonely life, but life was tough at times, as it is with a lot of people,” Doreen said.

To Doreen’s right sat Ruth in a bright blue cardigan, listening intently.

Ruth was born in 1933 and raised in Ballarat.

She moved all around Australia during her life, but settled down in Sheridan Aged Care around this time last year.

Ruth already knows what she’s getting for Mother's Day — a pair of new pants.

“After looking and seeing how much room I had to put my clothes — because you never know when you move into a place how much room you’ll have — the kids decided that they’ll buy me a new pair of jeans because these are the only ones that fit me now, I think,” she said.

Jan, an Echuca local, said she did not know what Mother’s Day had in store for her this year.

“Usually, one of the kids will come down with the grandkids or great grandkids with some flowers or treats, so we’ll see what happens,” Jan said.

The eldest of seven, Jan said she did not have much of a childhood.

Her maternal instincts were indoctrinated into her from the moment her first sibling arrived.

“I had to do my best and help mum — being the eldest,” she said.

“The other kids would say ‘Well, you got everything!’ well, no, I had to help out with everything, too — I did odd jobs, and shifted all about the country.”

Across their lives, Jan, Ruth and Doreen raised children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren; so I asked them what their advice would be to prospective mothers?

“Oh, just stay calm,” Jan said.

“You have to realise what having a baby is, and isn’t — you sacrifice your freedom for a child, but it’s a whole new experience,” Ruth said.

“It’s a big change in your life,” Doreen said.

“It’s easy to be an easy-going mum — and there are a lot of good mums out there, and they work and they’re honest — but it’s harder to draw a line with your kids.

“There’s no line any more.”

Jan agreed, explaining the importance of the role that a mother played in a child’s life.

“You don’t need to strike them, you don’t need to be mean to them, but you need to be able to set boundaries so that they know what is wrong and what is right,” she said.

Doreen said that one way she would tell off her kids was not letting them have dessert, just as her mother had when she was a child.

“When I was naughty, my mum would send me off to bed with no sweets — I would still sneak down and look for a tin of condensed milk, though,” she said.

Doreen recalled watching her children and grandchildren grow up through the years, explaining that on Mother’s Day they would always bring something just slightly burnt on the bottom — but she would always eat it.

“They went from running around and making burnt cookies for me for Mother’s Day, to growing up and visiting me here,” Doreen said.

“It just makes you realise how far you’ve come in life.”

A staff member came over and told us that church was about to begin, so I asked them one final question: If your mother was sitting here with us, what would you say to her?

“Well, all I would say is thank you — thank you for everything,” Doreen said.

“Yes, thank you for raising me, and getting me through life,” Ruth said.

Jan, already looking teary-eyed, and already preparing a tissue, had a simple message.

“I would say I love her,” she said. “And I miss her.”

Jan apologised for getting emotional; however, the waterworks had already begun and had infected even me.

On behalf of the Free Press, happy Mother’s Day.