The Christmas holiday season is traditionally a time of joy and togetherness for families, but for victims of domestic abuse it can be a time of increased trauma.
Statistics show that for some, aggression and control hits a peak over the holiday season compared to the rest of the year.
Centre Against Violence CEO Jaime Chubb said the expectations of family and work events, juggling children’s expectations, financial pressures of buying gifts and extra food, plus a higher consumption of alcohol can all lead to additional stress in the household.
“Whilst many of us look forward to the Christmas season and spending time with family and friends, for some it’s the complete opposite,” Ms Chubb said.
“Unfortunately for many people home is not a safe place. Whilst school, work, and community events can provide a small reprieve away from the home and their perpetrators, often the holiday period means more time spent within the house together, with less routine and freedom.
“This is why it is more important than ever to look after yourself and keep an eye out for our friends and family over the Christmas season.”
Ms Chubb talks about some of the red flags to look for.
“Watch how the perpetrator talks to their partner,” she said. “Is it jealous, controlling or quick to insult? Are they privately or publicly putting down and undermining their partner, calling them names, swearing at them, insulting them, or blaming them for things that are out of their control?
“Be alert for subtle signs that someone may be controlled or manipulated.
“The abuser may question the victim about their movements, who they talk to, and wanting to know where they are at all times. They may accuse them of flirting or cheating, when its far from the case.
“Many abusers’ control all finances. This gives them greater dominance of where their partner is allowed to go or allowed to do.
“An abuser may make their victim feel unsafe through threats or breaking objects to punish, frighten, or subdue them.
“Is the person you are concerned about wearing inappropriate or unusual clothing to cover up injuries? Like scarves, wearing sunglasses indoors, long skirts or pants when they usually wear shorter clothing?”
Ms Chubb said if you suspect someone you know is experiencing family violence, help them by pulling them aside and assuring them with no judgement.
“Ask them if they are safe at home. Stay in contact with them and be informed - let them know what resources are available, such the Centre Against Violence confidential helpline or The Orange Door. Importantly, encourage them to call the police if they are ever in immediate danger,” she said.
The Centre Against Violence is a government funded Family Violence and Sexual Assault service located in Wangaratta, Wodonga, and Benalla, providing services across the Ovens and Murray region. You can find out more about our services through our website centreagainstviolence.org.au.
If you or someone you know needs assistance due to family violence, contact the Orange Door on 1800 271 157. If you require immediate support outside of business hours, please call Safe Steps on 1800 015 188. For sexual assault support call 035722 2203 during business hours and for afterhours call the State-Wide Sexual Assault Crisis Line (SACL) on 1800 806 292.
If you are unsafe, call the police on 000.